


Without Grace

by acciojd



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Brotherly Love, Canon-Typical Violence, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Loki (Marvel), Hurt/Comfort, Not Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Compliant, Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Thor and Loki - Freeform, Thor: Ragnarok (2017)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-21
Updated: 2019-06-22
Packaged: 2020-05-15 15:57:16
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19298983
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acciojd/pseuds/acciojd
Summary: They are on the cliffs of Norway after their father passes.In which Hela’s arrival is delayed and in a moment of rage, Thor does something he can never take back. The consequences are devastating.





	1. Seeing Red

**Author's Note:**

> This is a two part story, veering from Thor Ragnarok. Thor's anger gets the best of him and things go terribly wrong. 
> 
> Please let me know what you think!

**Chapter 1: Seeing Red**

 

As quippy and lighthearted as their interaction had been, Thor’s emotions had begun boiling over from the second he realized that Loki has been posing as Odin on Asgard.

 

Loki, his sometimes enemy, always brother. Loki, who had saved his life on Svartalfheim. Loki, who had saved Jane’s life as she was being overcome by the Aether and kept her safe from the dark elves. Loki, who died for Thor, saving Thor, and whose body Thor left to the elements.

 

Loki was alive.

 

And apparently, quite happy. Loki had been acting as king. He was drinking wine, putting on plays, entertaining the people of Asgard.

 

He was not concerned about his brother who had mourned him. Jane had left Thor in part because his guilt was overwhelming and affecting how he treated her. Every time he looked at her he saw Loki pushing her aside and defending her. Every time she looked at him, Thor saw her pulling him away from Loki’s body, encouraging him to leave so they could take shelter.   He was never able to recover Loki’s body, and he had returned to look.

 

Now he knows why.

 

Had Loki watched as he searched Svartalheim for his corpse, knowing that the mission was futile? Had he laughed as Thor mourned for his brother, broke up with Jane, searched the cosmos for the stones that were haunting him?

 

Thor’s rage began building the second he realized who Odin was. He knew he would force Loki to change back by throwing Mjolnir and grabbing his father/brother by the neck. But even that act, although not serious with intent to hurt Loki was done to be cruel. His reaction upon seeing him alive, menacing towards him, placing Mjolnir on his chest, this was all because of Thor’s devastation .

 

Once Thor’s anger started, it began to build. Am inferno raging out of control and leaving destruction in it’s wake. There was never a chance for him to cool down, to center himself. Almost as soon as he learned of Loki’s deception, they were on Midgard watching the nursing home being demolished.

 

Thor knew Loki had resented their father, had been angry at him. But to place him under a spell and put him in a nursing home on Midgard? That anger just kept rising as he realized Odin was missing somewhere on this planet beyond his reach. Odin was alone, without Frigga, without Thor.

 

Their was a moment of reprieve as Thor worried while Loki was placed in the portal by the Midgardian sorcerer. But that didn’t last long.

 

His rage compounded, multiplied, burned out of control as they sat with Odin.

 

“Loki, lift your magic.” He seethed, as they listened to their father mention their mother calling to him.

 

Loki shook his head but said nothing. Thor could not believe Loki wasn’t somehow responsible for this. Confusing their father, turning him from a powerful king to a sad lonely old man morning for his wife.

 

“Took me quite a while to break free from your spell. Frigga would have been proud.” Odin said addressing Loki.

 

 _‘Proud of what?’_ Thor wanted to scream. _‘He trapped you. To spend the last years of your life alone and with strangers.’_

 

It didn’t make sense. And now Odin was gone. Gone and Thor was alone. 

 

Thor didn’t realize it, but it wasn’t entirely Loki’s fault. He was angry at himself for spending so much time away from Asgard and his people, he angry at himself to leaving Loki’s body alone to begin with, for not being able to protect his brother.

 

He was furious at Odin for imprisoning a sister, an apparently blood thirsty insane sister. For keeping that information from him, and now just expecting him to deal with this life altering news.  

 

He wasn’t able to sort through his emotions, he wasn’t able to think clearly enough to realize that very little of this was actually Loki’s fault.

 

 It was too much.

 

Thor felt the storm coming long before the thunder started. He could feel lightening coursing through his veins, the electricity running around his muscles and joints. He could feel the power starting to flow out of him, beyond his control.

 

He could see Loki shifting nervously out of the corner of his eye.

 

“Brother…”

 

It was getting worse. His heart rate was going through the roof. His father was dead. His rage was boiling over. Spilling out of him with uncontrollable magic. He hadn’t caused a storm without meaning to in centuries.

 

This was Loki’s fault. Loki hid from him for years, locked away their father until it was too late, sent Thor into a fit of depression that ended his relationship and sent him searching for something he didn’t understand. Loki, who was supposed to be by his side, but had left him alone.

 

“This was your doing.” He said. Tears beginning to fill his eyes and his fist clenched. The storm started raging around them.

 

Loki took a deep breath. He kept his body facing Thor’s, chest turned open toward him. His hands were loosely at his side, fists held loose, head tilted slightly. Loki’s posture was open, trying to placate, making himself vulnerable.

 

He was debating running. Thor could tell. He knew his brother well, he knew opponents well. Thor had fought and killed across the cosmos for a millennia. He knew what the fight or flight instinct look like.

 

“Brother please, I don’t want to fight you.” Loki said, voice low, he lifted his hands up, keeping his palms open.

 

But what Loki wanted didn’t matter. Thor lost control.

 

A crash of lighting and Thor was in his armor. The umbrella had transformed back to Mjolnir. Her weight comforting in Thor’s palm. His cape blowing in the storm.

 

Loki blinked, a look a shock overcoming his features for a split second before he was able to school it back. Perhaps he was able to see the uncontrollable rage in Thor’s eyes.

 

Another crash of lightening. This time leaving Loki writhing on the floor.

 

“You’ve taken everything.” Thor growled as Loki came back to his senses and met Thor’s eyes.

 

Whatever he saw in Thor clearly terrified him.

 

“Thor. Please.” Loki said with a gasp, transforming into his leathers, trying to stand just as Thor tackled him and the two began grappling. “I can explain.” Loki begged, trying to dodge Thor’s blows.

 

Loki was a strong fighter, gifted with knives, deadly with magic.

 

But Thor was a warrior.

 

And Thor was angry.

 

Thor caught Loki with a punch that sent him sprawling back to the ground and split the skin on his cheek.

 

Vines snaked up from the ground, trying to hold Thor in place. Some kind of spell Thor was unfamiliar with, but it didn’t matter. He tore them off of him as though they were nothing but dental floss. Loki got to his feet again, freezing the ground around Thor so that his feet were stuck in a block of ice. Thor growled in anger as Loki finally gave in to the flight instinct and took off at a dead sprint.

 

Loki was a gifted worldwalker, able to sense passageways within the realms to get him off world. This land would be full of them, Thor knew. His father sensed the magic here and he did as well. In a blind rage, Thor threw mjolnir towards his brother’s fleeing form.

 

The sound of Mjolnir crashing into the side of Loki’s head is one that would haunt Thor for the rest of his life.

 

Loki fell to the ground instantly and didn’t move. Mjolnir landed on the ground nearby and did not return to Thor’s hand.

 

In a second, everything stopped. It was quiet. The storm dissipating as quickly as it had appeared.

 

The ice disappeared from around his feet causing him abruptly to trip to his knees.

 

Thor came back to himself. His anger dissipated almost instantly. The storm quelled to nothing more than a horrible pain in his heart.

 

“No…”

 

He took off at a run, to where his brother lay limp not 100 yards away.

 

“Loki?” Thor whispered as he approached his brother’s body. Loki was laying face down, his left arm sprawled out next to him, his right arm pinned under his body.

 

Holding his breath, Thor touched his shoulder.

 

“Loki? He said again. A little louder with a shake to Loki’s arm. No response.

 

He turned Loki onto his back as gently as he could, and immediately felt bile rise up in this throat.

 

Loki’s skull, the right side, was clearly cracked. Part of his face was practically caved in, blood and possibly bits of bone were everywhere.          

 

Thor had killed his brother. Thor had aimed a killing blow of Mjolnir at Loki and she had performed her task.

 

“No no no no no no no” Thor cried, on his knees besides his brother. Suddenly there was rain. Pouring rain covering them as Thor was again lost control of his powers.

 

He turned away from the body and retched. What had he done?

 

He didn’t even notice a black cloud forming and a woman stepping through.

 

“Well, well, well. What have we here?” Hela asked, taking the scene in.

 

Thor said nothing. He couldn’t. He wasn’t prepared to fight her. He couldn’t comprehend what had happened. Now that his anger was gone, and he was left with the horror scene in front of him, he couldn’t even form words.

 

Hela walked over and looked at mjolnir, lying on the ground not far from where they were.

 

“Is she yours now?”

 

But she wasn’t. Thor could no longer hear her song. She stopped answering his call the second she had taken Loki’s life.

 

Thor was no longer worthy. He had raised his weapon, intending to kill, against someone who had not deserved it, someone who loved him, who refused to fight back because he didn’t want to hurt him, who was fleeing from him. Mjolnir would not allow herself to be used for such a task again.

 

“No.” Thor croaked, knowing it was true.

 

With a shrug, Hela left Mjolnir where she say. She was no threat while there was no one worthy to wield her. Perhaps Hela might find herself able to lift her soon.

 

“Call for the watchman. Take me to Asgard and I can save him.” Hela said voice honeyed.

 

Loki would see right through it. He would never agree. But Thor was desperate.

 

“He’s dead. How can he be saved?”

 

“I won’t tell you, less you do it without me. But I can tell you he can be saved. I am, after all, the goddess of death.”

 

Thor knew it was a trap. He knew wherever Loki was he would be livid. Angry. Disgusted. But it didn’t matter. He gently slid his arms around his brother, pulling him up towards him. Blood splattered onto Thor’s breastplate where his brother’s head settled.

 

“Bring us back!” Thor called, and the three were beamed up surrounded by rainbow light.

 

 

 

 _Yikes. Please let me know what you think. Next chapter will be up shortly!_  


	2. After the Storm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The aftermath

 

Hela wasted no time establishing dominance. She locked Thor up in a gilded prison with Loki’s body.

 

“Here’s the deal big boy.” She said. “You are going to publicly renounce your throne and kneel to me. In return, I save his life.” She shrugged before continuing. “I’m going to take the throne either way. But if you kneel, not only will it save him, but it will save the countless Asgardian’s I’d have to kill in a coup. Why destroy the realm I intend to make the most powerful in the cosmos. If you bow to me, I’ll save him, and the people will follow me without bloodshed.” Her arms were crossed. Her power seemed to radiate off of her.

 

How could Thor expect to win against her anyway? He wasn’t worthy of Mjolnir. He wasn’t worthy of the throne.

 

“Save him first, and I will give you the throne. I promise.” Thor replied. He had lay Loki’s body on the bed in the room.

 

Hela had given a sharp nod. “You understand the consequences. That is a fair request.” With that, she turned and left, sealing the room behind her.

 

When they first landed in the observatory, the Fandaral and Volstagg were shocked to say the least. They looked at Loki’s body and Thor’s face, as well as this newcomer they did not know.

 

“Thor..” Fandral started, but Thor just shook his head in response.

 

The three were not bothered as they went right to the castle. There was no Odin anymore, Loki was considered the acting regent, but Thor would be the one who could rightfully ascend the throne now that their father was gone.

 

Hela brought them to a bedroom that was probably once a guest room in the palace. After the left, sealing the room behind her, he found himself unable to do anything other than stare at his brother.

 

The fact that Thor had caused this damage to Loki was unfathomable. He simply wanted to lie down next to Loki and meet his soul wherever it was.

 

With a wince, Thor realized he wasn’t sure if his brother had made it to Valhallah, but he knew for certain that the golden halls would never open to him now. Thor would never see Frigga or Odin again. If Loki was with them, he would never see Loki again.

 

He wanted to smash things, break things, destroy the room around them, but it was his anger that got him here in the first place. He would never lash out in anger again.

 

He picked up his brother’s hand in his.

 

“Loki….” But what could he say. That he was sorry? It was laughable. Sorry wouldn’t bring him back and sorry would never express how he felt.

 

Thor just held his hand and sobbed. Outside in Asgard, the rain beat down on the windows, the realm crying with him.

 

Thor must have fallen asleep, though he couldn’t remember how or when but when he woke up, Hela was leaning over Loki, a potion smoking in hand.

 

“I have your word, little brother, that you will kneel once he wakes?” Hela said.

 

“Yes.”

 

“Who is he anyway?” She asked, voice clipped. “Not that I really care, but I’m curious who Thor Odinson is giving up the throne for.”

 

Thor swallowed tightly. “He’s my.. our.. younger brother. Odin adopted him as a baby.”

 

Hela cocked in eyebrow.

 

“Adopted… oh for fucks sake. The man locked me in literal Hel, but chose to adopt a replacement child. He really did grow soft.” She growled.

 

She held up the vile with the smoking potion and poured it into Loki’s mouth. She quickly held her hand, covering his mouth.

 

“It’s an elixir. Made from an apple from Idunn’s garden, roasted in the eternal flame. With a drop of my blood. It can restore if someone has died before their time, as long as the body is still fresh enough.” She explained.

 

Thor starred at her uncomprehending.

 

“You really are thick. Goddess of death remember? I can see his thread was cut before his time.” She growled.

 

Beneath her hand, Loki started convulsing, coughing, and the skin and bone on his face began to heal.

 

“He should wake soon. I’ll leave you two to have whatever sobfest that you need to have. At dinner tonight, you announce you will kneel to me. You’ll announce that I’m the rightful heir to the throne, Odin’s eldest, and that you’ve chosen to honor that. If you don’t, I’ll kill this one and lay waste to the citizens and army of Asgard.” She said waving her hand towards Loki’s slowly healing body.

 

And then she was gone. The door magically sealed behind her trapping Thor in the room with his brother.

 

Loki made a small noise, like a whimper, and Thor felt his heart freeze. Suddenly he wanted out of the room. He didn’t want to face Loki, didn’t want to have to explain what was happening, what he had done. 

 

But he knew he had to stay, knew that Loki deserved to hear his apology, however meaningless it might be to him. Loki deserved an explanation, and with it to do whatever he wanted. Thor would hand him the dagger himself, would let Loki run him through is that’s what he wished.

 

With a gasp and an intake of breath, Loki’s eyes opened and he shot up so that his upper body was sitting straight up.

 

His eyes glanced wildly around the room until they met Thor’s. Almost immediately, Loki scrambled back in the bed, and twisted his body trying to get up and run.

 

“Peace, Loki, Peace.” Thor said, heartbroken by his brother’s reaction, but knowing he well deserved it.

 

He reached out towards his brother, palms open and empty, to try and assuage his fears.

 

“What happened?” Loki rasped out, apparently satisfied that Thor would not further injure him. He was still clearly wary, not closing the gap between himself and Thor’s outstretched hand. He stared at the hand and moved as far away from it as he could, while still seated on the bed.

Thor took a deep breath.

“I have no words to explain myself. I was angry. I lost control. I hurt you, badly. You were gone.” Thor said, hand returning empty to his side. He fell to his knees besides Loki’s bed.

 

“I’m so sorry. That’s all I can say. I have no excuse. No explanation.” Tears began running down his face.

 

“You tried to kill me.” Loki said, frowning at his brother. “I never thought you’d actually do that.”

 

Thor winced. “I didn’t try. I did.”

 

Loki’s frown deepened.

 

“Hela brought you back.” Thor explained.

 

“Hela.” Loki said, voice impassive, face not betraying anything.

 

“What did you do, Thor.” He spat, practically growling.

 

“I abdicated. Or I promised I would. She will be queen.”

 

Loki got out of bed, glanced down at himself before snapping his fingers and replacing the blood covered leathers with clean ones.

 

“Clean yourself up, fool. We need to be ready.” Loki snapped, looking up at Thor briefly. “Where is your hammer, you are going to need it.”

 

Thor blinked, staring uncomprehendingly at his brother.

 

“Your hammer, Thor. Where is it?

 

Thor took a deep breath.

 

“Loki please, stop.” Thor begged. Loki kept moving, now examining the locked door and pointedly ignoring his brother. After a few minutes, Thor tried again.

 

“Loki please.”

 

Loki finally rounded on him, emotion radiating off of him, his usual façade of control gone. “No Thor, you don’t get to ask anything of me. I begged you. I didn’t want to fight you. And look. Look what you did. You threw Mjolnir, you intended her to take my life. And then what? You felt bad so to bring me back you made a deal with the goddess of death. My life for Asgard? Am I supposed to be grateful? Am I supposed to thank you? Because I won’t. You KILLED me.”

 

It was the most emotion Thor had seen from Loki since the news of Frigga’s death. The most words he had probable spoken to Thor in a decade. It seemed to cost Loki, as his energy failed him and he fell to his knees.

 

“How could you?” He rasped, tears silently flowing down his cheeks. “I loved you. Always. You want to know why I hid after being stabbed by the Kursed? Let you think I was dead? Because I was scared when you found out I was alive you’d make due on your promise. I was scared you’d kill me.” A sad laugh escaped him. “And I was right.”

 

The storm outside raged harder still. Tears flew down Thor’s face , matching Loki’s.

 

Before Thor could say anything further, there was a knock on their door before Skurge entered.

 

“The queen requests your presence at dinner. You may want to dress the part.” Skurge told the two brothers. The door shutting behind him. They were both dressed for war. Thor still in his bloodied armor. Loki, clean, but still ready for a fight.

 

They were running out of time.

 

“She can’t be queen” Loki said, under his breath towards Thor.

 

“She will be.” Thor replied. “Mjolnir left me after I struck you.” Loki reeled as if he had been struck again. “I cannot fight her. She will kill you. She will kill everyone.”

 

“What do you think she will do to us after you abdicate? Let us live here in peace? You will always be a threat to her. I will always be a threat to her.” Loki growled. “I was a good king, you know. Not that you cared, but I was. The people were happy. Asgard was prospering. People here will support my claim to the throne. Others will support you. She will not let us live.”

 

Thor took a deep breath. Loki was right, of course. He always had an ear for politics the way Thor never did.

 

“We will leave then. Wait it out. Come back when we are stronger.” Thor replied. Once, only a few days ago, he would never have dreamed of leaving Asgard to Hela’s wrath. But he felt like his whole world had been turned inside out. He didn’t feel worthy of being king, and the thought of Loki being killed made his insides freeze.

 

Thor felt nauseous. Sick. He had no idea what to do. He wanted to grab Loki and flee. Wanted to spend the rest of his life apologizing. Wanted to turn time back two days and fix everything between himself and his brother.

 

They had been side by side for a millennia. Loki had betrayed him, stabbed him, hurt him more than he could put into words. But he never felt this separated from Loki. He never felt a rift this deep. He never once felt as though they might not being able to make it right.

 

“What do we do?” Thor asked. Hoping beyond hope that Loki had a plan. That Loki wouldn’t leave him, even though that’s what he deserved.

 

“We have to take a stand. Here and now. The longer she stays on Asgard, the stronger she gets. She will kill everyone. We need to find Heimdall. He will keep the people safe and get them off world.”

 

“Do you know where he is?” Thor asked. “He wasn’t at the gate.”

 

“Of course I do. He’s in hiding. I’m the one who banished him. I couldn’t have him watching me too closely.” Loki said, thinking as he talked. “We have to get to the bifrost. Get the bifrost sword so she can’t leave. Can’t weaponized it.”

 

They looked at each other. Thor felt his heart swell with pride. Loki was still working with him, didn’t leave him, didn’t abandon him even though by all rights he should.

 

“You ready, brother?” Loki asked, breaking the spell keeping them in the room. He gave Thor a week smile. The message was clear. Thor was not forgiven, may never be forgiven, but Loki wouldn’t leave him nor Asgard to Hela’s wrath.  And for now, that would have to be enough. 

 

Thor felt his heart finally begin to thaw when Loki called him brother. Perhaps, in time, they would be okay. They were brothers, and Thor and Loki, and Thor would spend the rest of his days proving that to him.

 

 

 

_Thank you for checking out this story! I figure, Thor and Loki get thrown from the bifrost by Hela, landing on Saakar. AND AWAY WE GO.  This was always meant to be a two-shot, but now, of course my mind is running on how this could affect the rest of the Ragnarok/Infinity War/Endgame story. So expect some –verse fics!_

 

_Let me know what you think!_


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